Shallow End

The Shallow End: A Weekly Vanity Hag Grab Bag


Shed your hair suits, people, it’s summer fake out!

Here in Portland we’ve got a nice thing called summer fake out. Or perhaps it’s the patron saint of PDX smiling down at us, giving us an effin’ break, before the doom and gloom that May and June tend to be. Either way, the sun is shining, skin is showing, drinks on patios are flowing and the city has come alive.

Grab bag!

*Actresses without teeth. Or meth mouth. Quite possibly the most disgusting and amazing thing I’ve seen all week.



* Someone please buy me this dress from ROMWE. I want to wear it with motorcycle boots and an army jacket or with heels and my ever present sock bun. I need it.

*The Beauty Department always has such good tips and tricks that I can never pick just one to post here. Therefore, go there and prettyify yourself with ALL of them.

*This is a really sweet love story about two burn victims who met at a support group. Love for all is a wonderful thing.


*Celebrity face swaps, perhaps better than toothless actresses.

* In this day of constant instagramming and FB photos, we could all use a little help looking hotter in pictures. Though it’s hard to remember these helpful hints when one is bombed on whiskey.


* Lady Gaga has a gold wheelchair because of course she does. She’s recovering from hip surgery and is a pimp. Oh but wait, one ridiculous wheelchair is not enough. For the nights when you go out to strip clubs and fast food joints, you need a more subtle yet still classy wheelchair. One made by Louis Vuitton.



* Make your own dip dye shirts and tons of other cool DIY fashion projects. Pretty sure my shirt would look nothing like that and my kitchen would look like a tar bomb went off but hey, most of you aren’t trained chimps like me so give it a go!


*Pretty fascinated by the collection of tattoo pictures of a style in France called Xoil. Though my boyfriend pointed out that it helps that all of them are on very attractive people. Still, I think it’s beautiful.

There’s a high of 64 degrees today. It’s no 75 but it’s nothing to sneeze at. I say get your ass to a patio and have a cocktail. Sure it’s Monday and some of you have real jobs but really, is that an excuse?


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