Shallow End: A Weekly VanityHag Grab Bag

dog

Happy Monday! I’m sick as hell right now. It feels like someone shoved an onry porcupine down my throat. But because I have a deep desire to please and such vast love for the three of you that read this blog, I’m pressing on with my regular Monday grab bag. Then I’m going to the doctor. Cross your fingers that I get some gnarly pain killers.

* This dog is more stylish than my boyfriend. Dapper little fella.

*Nipple pasties have always played on my insecurities as a small breasted woman. They don’t look good on A-cups, they swallow them whole. I’m being deprived of a world of boob fun. Helicopters, peacocks and Star Trek! No fair!

cat

* This is a list of reasons to party sober. Unfortunately I’m too drunk to read them so you’ll have to let  me know what they are.

*There’s a Walking Dead porn being made. Of course there is. No one is upset about that. People are upset that they are using a white with his eyes taped back to play Glenn. Whoa. P.S. Glenn is my favorite and if he ever dies I am boycotting.

* Did I mention how much fun drinking is? Because it allows a girl to do things like this.

* I fully agree with this entire article about not lazing around in sweat pants anymore. Why not embrace some actually sexy loungewear?? Though when I wear my vintage leopard print slip with matching robe I feel more like my mom than a sex kitten. Though my mom has way more sex than I do so maybe that’s…a good…thing…..?

* I’m thrilled that scrunch butts have finally made it out of the blacklight of the strip club and out onto the beaches! Strippers have been using this trick for years and now normal girls can experience the joy too!

* I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt even more now.

* I leave you now with Honey Manko. She is stunning and her breasts would look fabulous wearing any of the aforementioned pasties.

manko

Yes, today was a short grab bag but me and this porcupine need to go to the doctor and then crawl into bed in a drug induced haze. Perhaps after a nap I’ll be able to pull another post out of my ass.